New Design Pushed in a Different Directions

I feel like I am being pushed in a million different directions and I hope things work out for the best soon because they usually don't!  It results in a tangled mess which is what this first picture is.. one huge mess!  When forces push me down all I can do is stand back up fighting harder.  I design from my heart and it is all I can do to get through life.  It is my escape from reality.
Renée